Whenever I do a ‘Which Sex and the City Character are you?’ quiz (which is often), I always skew my answers to get Carrie. (I’d most likely get Miranda if I didn’t rig it.)
Carrie Bradshaw is one of my style icons. I love how she experimented with her wardrobe. She always wore whatever she thought was fabulous, rather than what was on trend. Plus being a writer that can afford Manolo Blahniks and Dior dresses is LITERALLY MY DREAM LIFE.
Yes, she could be bloody annoying sometimes. (E.g. the episode where she won’t shut up about the fart – girl, it’s just a fart. You should come round to my place.) But she also taught us valuable life lessons about friendship, self acceptance and love – as well as when to wear a full length fur coat (answer is always).
"The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."
So. Damn. Right.
Throughout Sex and the City Carrie learnt how to be, accept and love herself – with the help of her gal pals, obvs. And despite being fictional, there were real life lessons for us.
1. LEARN HOW TO ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH YOURSELF
Harder than it seems. We often use 'things' when we’re alone so that we don’t look or feel too alone. We check our phones, read a book, do work, write back to messages etc. But Carrie sat there, by herself, no distractions, and just had a glass of wine. Because there is nothing wrong with being alone (particularly if there is wine).
You will spend your entire life with yourself – better learn to enjoy it.
2. BEING YOURSELF, FLAWS AND ALL
The people in our life often want us to be, wear, or do something and it's hard to stop that impacting our decisions. Sometimes we do it without realising. It’s happened to me. Hell, it happened to Carrie in the final season with Aleksandr Petrovsky! We think we need to act, or dress, a certain way to please someone – but it's not necessarily what we want, or who we are.
It’s all too easy to compare yourself to other women, particularly with social media. We want to have her hair, her thighs or her job. But what we forget is that ‘she’ is likely stalking your IG wanting your eyebrows, your skin tone, and your cute new purse.
(Quick reminder that social media is a curated representation of life. Don't follow people who make you feel like Carrie's farts.)
Learning to accept and love yourself is a daily task. It requires patience, forgiveness and hard work.
I love Carrie's line:
“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it”.
Because that is me. I WISH I had perfect hair. I look at people who do and sigh jealously.
But I don’t, never will and that’s OK. Actually it’s more than OK – it’s fabulous.
3. INVEST IN PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY
"Love makes the world go round."
"Love is all around."
"It must be love."
You get it, there's a million songs about love. It's the greatest gift we're given. All anyone really wants deep down is to love and be loved – and I don't just mean in the romantic sense.
Carrie love for her friends is just as important, if not more so – they’re her family.
Find people who will realise you're only human, that you'll never be perfect, but that love you anyway. And if you do, make sure you love them back – unconditionally.
4. WHEN YOU FALL DOWN, GET BACK UP
Because girl, you will fall down. I can guarantee it. It’s probably the only thing in life that is guaranteed. (Oh, except that the one day you forget your umbrella, it will rain.)
But when you fall down/fail/make a mistake/get hurt, you just have to get up, call your girlfriends and have a whinge, then dust yourself off, and keep on going.
5. IT IS WHAT IT IS
I’m a worry-wart. A huge, ginormous, right in the middle of your face worry wart. Carrie is the same. She's always worrying about what people are thinking or feeling, how's she's perceived or what’s going to happen next – but at the end of the day, you can’t change it. (Or if you can, then do it. But likely you’re worrying about things you can’t control.)
All you can do is try your best. Fix the things you can control, then leave the rest up to whatever higher power you believe in (God, fate, the universe, Morgan Freeman).
Too often we let yesterday or tomorrow take up too much of today. Don't do that – live the moment.
And so I leave you with this quote:
“I admit it’s tempting to wish for the perfect boss, or the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit, but the best anyone of us can do is not quit, play the hand we’ve been given, and accessorise the outfit we’ve got.”
Damn. Right.
