Pregnancy Isn't For The Faint Hearted – And I’m Only 12 Weeks

I’m nearly 12 weeks pregnant.

Last night, I slept terribly.

My boobs hurt. Like HURT – when I lay on my side, they droop and it feels like every muscle is tearing.

I have cramps. Cramps that drive me to anxious thoughts/Googling: ‘Is this normal?/Do I need to go to the hospital?/Is this a miscarriage?’; and leave me checking for blood every few minutes)

I feel nauseous.

I’ve cried a few times because I feel nauseous.

I’ve cried a few times because I’m crying and don’t know why.

I spent 10 minutes heaving – no vomit came up, but in fact that’s often worse. If you spew, it’s up and gone. Heaving makes your entire body convulse so you feel like you’re spewing but without the satisfaction of ‘job complete’. PLUS you keep the lingering feeling of ‘needing to spew’ after the heaving is done. (I did, however, vomit multiple times during the night. Fun!)

I’ve got eyelid dermatitis that won’t go away.

I have at least 11 messages/people I need to text back.

Got some presents to buy.

Approximately 400 emails to reply to, and an inbox with over 800 to clear out.

I’m pretty sure I’ve got a bill due soon but the energy to figure it out is beyond me right now.

I haven’t exercised properly in a few weeks.

Can’t stomach vegetables (unless hot chips count?).

Haven’t washed my hair in… crap. I actually can’t finish that sentence.

AND I know, I know it will all be worth it. And I know, I KNOW this all this is to prepare me for motherhood – when, I’m assured, it all gets worse.

And I also know this miracle of life inside me is a gift, and I feel ever so grateful for it.

BUT pregnancy is not for the faint hearted. It can be HARD. I don’t say this for sympathy but to GIVE sympathy:

If you, like me, are literally trying to survive the day…

If you don’t feel like yourself and can’t do the things you normally love…

If you feel like your body has been taken over by an alien the size of a strawberry who is determined to cause absolute mayhem in your body…

If you cry all the time for no reason… I feel you. I FEEL YOU.

And: You’re doing great, sweetie – keep going.

In my expert only-been-preggaz-once-for-12-weeks opinion, I highly recommend you do WHATEVER is going to make you feel better. (I find watching ‘Nailed It’ or ‘Grace and Frankie’ combined with a delicate meal of Frosty Fruits, raspberry & white chocolate oat bars, and slices of cheese helps.)

It seems, every pregnancy is different. And for the ones that have drawn the short straw like me – side note: when nauseous, drinking cold water out of a straw helps – don’t let ANYONE make you feel bad for doing what you need to do to survive.

And if you’re holding down a full time job while feeling any of the above, you deserve a medal – or at least that new pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing off..

Pregnancy is teaching me some hard truths. The most important being that from now on, on my birthday, I’m giving my mother a present.