Pregnancy: What They Don’t Tell You

I've had everything this pregnancy. 

Nausea ‒ check. 

Vomiting ‒ check. 

Indigestion ‒ check. 

Heartburn – check. 

Constipation – check.  

Insomnia – check.  

Low iron  – check. 

Dizziness – check. (The stars are cute though.)

Back pain – check.  

Mood swings – check. 

Crying for no reason – check.   

Pee’d my pants in public – check.  

I can’t even lay on my back without feeling sick/faint. The only thing I (very gratefully) skipped out on was gestational diabetes and pregnancy acne – although there’s still time! 

Being pregnant is mind-blowing, a blessing, a life-changing experience. Child-bearing is miraculous. The fact that my body is growing a tiny human is nothing short of, well, a miracle.

However, it’s also a nightmare. I’m one of the super sick (yay!) and it’s been hard. (Did I mention that a bazillion times yet?)

I keep bringing it up because NO ONE TOLD ME. I knew the birth was hard – my mother mentioned that once or twenty times – but not that the ‘being with child’ was! Mary made it look so easy – she rode a donkey. 

So, in my effort to stop that being the case for someone else, here’s what they don’t tell you about pregnancy:

BODY

1. Your boobs, regardless of size, will just start to hurt. They may look great (mine did) but you will likely have to wear a comfy sports bra at ALL TIMES – especially when sleeping. 

2. Buy comfy sports bras. 

3. Get the nausea meds ASAP – as many as possible. They’ll try to keep the dose low but that leads to mornings of intense nausea, depression and vomiting all the way to the doctors to get more. 

4. Heaving is not fun, but it’s normal. (It’s basically when you feel and sound like you’re going to vomit but nothing comes up.)

5. ASk for/steal the vomit bags from the hospital whenever you’re there – very handy. Keep EVERYWHERE. 

6. Cramping is normal but scary. If it’s bad, just go to the hospital – no one judges a paranoid pregnant person. However, it is normal. (I found that out by being a paranoid pregnant person.) 

SLEEP 

1. Again, you may be one of God’s favourites and sleep like a dream through your pregnancy. Or you could be like the rest of us and from when the symptoms start, the sleep interruptions do too. 

2. Take naps.

3. Take more naps.

4. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about taking naps. 

5. Once indigestion kicks in, sleep propped up – it helps. Being flat is a nightmare. 

6. BUY A PREGNANCY PILLOW NOW!! The second you need it, you’ll thank me. 

EXCESSIVE CRYING 

1. They allude to this one and it is a thing. You can cry because:

   1. Your partner won’t go to Bunnings with you 

   2. You feel sick 

   3. You feel tired

   4. Being pregnant is hard

   5. For no reason whatsoever, you just start crying (all true stories)

BEAUTY

1. There’s lot of products you can’t use, particularly active ingredients – check that they’re safe. However my favourite brand of all time‒ Go-To – makes all their products pregnancy-safe. 

2. You can’t whiten your teeth.

3. You can use hair dye, although if you’re already sensitive to it, ask your GP. 

4. You’ll likely just feel fat and bloated long before you start showing/people know. Your partner, or if you don’t have one, whoever your support system is, should constantly just tell you’re beautiful anyway. (Even if you’ve just been puking your guts out and now covered in vomit and sweat.)

FOODS

1. IMPORTANT LESSON: It IS possible to be nauseous and hungry at the same time. Carbs are your friend. (Museli bars, Jatz, Shapes, rice crackers, etc.)

2. If nauseous, there is a high chance that you can/will go off meat, vegetables, pretty much everything. Just got with it – eat what you can. 

3. Fruit is your friend. 

4. So are potatoes. (I lived off seaweed rice crackers, vita wheats, potatoes in multiple forms (except mash) and fruit smoothies until the indigestion kicked in and I had to change my game.) 

5. Zooper Doopers/icy poles/Frost Fruits/frozen treats are your friend. 

6. As is frozen yoghurt. (I recommend Bulla frozen yoghurt sticks.)

7. As is ice cream. (I recommend Connoisseur and Ben & Jerry’s – now’s the time to splurge, girl.)

Basically: it’s hard. Do what works. Honestly, now is not the time to do ‘what you should’ or listen to anyone – just do whatever gets you through the day. There is no judgement here.