I just turned 30.
And I have A LOT to learn – I’m only 30, after all. (Check in when I’m 90 and I might know all the things.) However, even though I don’t know everything (yet), I’ve learnt some things in my 30 spins around the globe.
Here’s what I know to be true at 30-years-old:
Wear sunscreen. Everyday, no exceptions.
A gal’s greatest gift is her girlfriends – there is nothing in this world like female friendships. I’m more grateful for mine than there are words.
When you’re sad, dance. When you’re happy, dance. When you’re feeling lonely, invite your girlfriends over for a living room dance party and dance. I can not express enough how much a boogie – and some good tunes – can lift your spirits.
Gut instincts; a woman’s intuition; all of it, it’s real. Listen to it.
Therapy is over-stigmatised and undervalued – you don’t have to be traumatised to go to therapy. And if you do go, it’s very likely you’ll benefit.
The Spice Girls had a generation of little girls screaming “girl power” and anyone who says that isn’t feminism missed the memo. Girl Power is real.
Self awareness is one of the best qualities you can have – learn to acknowledge and accept the way you are. Don’t live in a river in Egypt.
Honesty – always.
You can’t be good at everything – but you can be really good at a few things if you practice AND you’re often good at things you don’t even realise because it comes naturally to you. Notice when people repeatedly mention that you’re good at something and believe them. Back your talents, gifts and skills.
When you think someone’s great, tell them.
Don’t do the stuff you don’t like to do (unless it’s stuff you have to – like your taxes). Don’t like brussel sprouts? Don’t eat them. Hate the gym? Don’t go. Find something else that has the same benefit. (I hate gyms, so I don’t go and I’m fitter and healthier without them.)
You need your family – but it isn’t always the family you were born into. Blood is important, but love is more so.
No such thing as too many shoes.
When in doubt/having an ugly day/feeling like the poo emoji sans the smiley face, wear all black. Instant chic – or emo, but normally chic. (Add red lipstick for omph.)
Love and laughter are ~ quite literally ~ all that matters in the end. Both will get you through anything.
Also: Love languages are real. Know yours – it’ll save you a lot of time when it comes to relationships.
Things NEVER go as planned. Have as much of a plan as is needed but don’t waste too much planning – you’d be better off wasting your time dreaming.
Think like Lizzo: You. Deserve.
The patriarchy is real, but so is the sisterhood and it always wins out in the end.
There is nothing more pure or supportive than drunk-girls-in-bathrooms friendships.
We don’t control anything in life except our reactions. Learn to manage your reactions and stop trying to control what you can’t.
You will say ignorant and arrogant things that you’re thoroughly embarrassed about. Forgive yourself — but also don't say them again.
If you can outsource, do it. Your time is worth something. (And don’t waste your time worrying – all worry EVER achieves is wasting time.)
You can’t read minds – stop trying to. (In particular: if a boy wants to talk to you, he will. There is no doubt about that.)
You never know what someone else is going through so be kind, practise empathy, forgive easily BUT take no crap. You can leave others feeling good without taking responsibility for them and their emotions.
Write it down – you won’t remember.
Women apologise for lots of shit that isn’t their fault – stop doing it, call it out. It’s not your fault Jerry swerved and hit your boyfriend’s car. It’s Jerrys, or probably your boyfriends or maybe it’s the kangaroos he was trying to avoid. But one thing is clear: it’s NOT your fault.
When it comes to making life decisions, there often isn’t a right or wrong choice. You’ve just gotta make the choice that feels best for you. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. (Refer to point 4.)
You’ll never be as young as you are now, enjoy it! Soak it up! (While wearing sunscreen.)
I think I’m fabulous – so it doesn’t really matter if you don’t.
