I’ve been on a 90’s movie binge. And what is a 90s movie binge without 10 Things I Hate About You? (It isn’t one.)
Once I’d stopped crying about Heath Ledger (I loved him), I realised wise Kat Stratford is! The nineties weren’t all butterfly clips and tamagotchis – there was some real wisdom in pop culture.
Anyway, here are 5 things Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You taught us about being ourselves:
1. LIVE UP TO YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS, NOT OTHER PEOPLE’S
If you live your life according to what other people want for – or from – you, then you’re setting yourself up for absolute, without-a-doubt misery. You can still live a life helping people, without making it about doing what everyone else expects you to do.
Mother Theresa lived a holy life, but she did things to her own expectations. (Which she believed were God’s expectations, if you want to be theologically correct about it – but she certainly wasn’t listening to anyone on earth.)
Point is: you don’t want to wake up at age 86 and realise you’ve lived your life entirely for other people. E.g. stayed in jobs or relationships you hated so as not to disappoint others; taken career paths you never wanted; lived in a suburb you didn't like; or missed out on adventure because someone else didn't think you'd make it.
It is impossible to make everyone happy – you’ll hurt yourself trying. Instead, focus on doing the best you can with the tools you’ve got and meet your own expectations. (Just keep them realistic.) (Please.)
2. SISTER’S SHOULD HAVE EACH OTHER’S BACKS
Like all teen movies, at the start of 10 Things I Hate About You there is a family divided. By the end, there is a family united. Bet no-one was expecting that!
And while it’s a stock standard plot line, it’s important. If you’re lucky enough to have a sister, it’s a special and sacred bond you should be grateful for. Only a sibling understands your family – including your weird cousin Daryl – and the inside jokes and experiences. Only an older sister can teach you about periods, or remember when you wet the bed, or – worse – when you wore Sketchers. Only a younger sister knows that feeling of adoration, wanting to be like their older sister. (She also remembers waking up at 3am to let you in the back door because you lost your keys.) (Sorry, Monty.)
Too often we take our family for granted, and if you’re someone who does, stop now. I mean it, RIGHT NOW.
In fact, text your sister this second. Go on. Here, I’ll write it for:
“Hey sis, you’re grand. This wonderful girl, Bel, reminded me to remind you – you should defs read her stuff. Okseeyouloveyoubye." *emoji of your choice*
Or something along those lines.
3. BE A BADASS (THAT INCLUDES CRYING IN PUBLIC WITHOUT SHAME)
Kat flashes a teacher, criticises lessons, ditches school, has a go at the ‘popular’ boy and wears blue camo. She’s a badass feminist who calls it like she sees it.
Sometimes you need to be a badass to get the job done. And you shouldn't feel bad about it. (You shouldn't even feel bad about wearing blue camo – if that makes you happy, go for it.)
Also, it’s OK to cry in public.
4. CRYING IN PUBLIC DOESN’T MAKE YOU WEAK – IT SHOWS YOU CARE
Just to stress the point: crying is NOT bad. Kat cried in front of a classroom full of teenagers. And even though she is fictional, that is still a lot worse then crying in front of your partner/boss/doctor/bus driver. (That’s a list of people I’ve cried in front of recently.)
It’s drilled into us that crying in public is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Yes, that makes sense – avoid a natural bodily function that occurs when one shows emotion at all costs. (That was sarcasm, yeah? Good, you get it.)
Don’t be afraid to cry. Worse things have happened – like Charlotte pooing her pants in the Sex and the City movie.
5. DON’T DO SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS
Spending hundred on a wedding you didn’t want to go to? Staying out later than you wanted to because your friends insisted? Everyone around you is having babies, maybe you should? No! You shouldn’t. Not unless you want to.
Peer pressure is still a thing, some 10+ years since high school. It’s easy to peer pressure others, and it’s easy to be peer pressured yourself. But don’t succumb! The only reason you’d do something because everyone else is, is because you’re worried about what people think…
But who cares what people think! Kat didn’t. And you shouldn’t either. It won’t make you happy and it means you're living to someone else expectations, not yours. (See point 1.)
#KatStratfordIsAnOGFeminist
